Being criticized doesn’t feel good in anyway shape or form. “Feedback”, “constructive criticism” is great, but I’m talking about when people are hating on you directly & intentionally. When people are criticizing your decisions, your work, your preferences, your style, your reputation, any and everything, for whatever reason, it sucks. It hurts.
Believe it or not, you will be criticized and it will hurt. Doesn’t matter who you are, it will hurt. So, what? It’ll hurt for a split second, maybe the first time, the pain will stay for a day, maybe a couple days, maybe even weeks. Or it leads to a season of depression, so what? Life will still go on for you, you will get through it, no matter how long it lasts. Criticism is here to stay, I could tell you not to criticize each other or hate on each other, but I’d be lying if I said you won’t be criticized again or to just ignore it and move on. Instead, I have different advice, get used to it.
That’s right, get used to criticism, don’t allow it to stop you. Why should it? That’s just what people do. Why? Cause people have been doing it for ages, since we came to exist on this Earth people have been criticizing each other & each other’s actions; and they will be criticizing each other and things well past when you & I die. They’ll probably still criticize you & I both even after we’re dead and gone from this Earth. So why battle that? Why let that dictate what you’re doing? Whether you abide by “their” likes or demands, you will still be criticized.
Even when you give your best effort to block criticism out, it will still find a way to hit you where it hurts most. Especially when you’re truly living your most authentic self. Why is that? Cause when you’re living your most authentic self, you’re vulnerable. Your work & efforts are most powerful when you’re authentic & with this you’re vulnerable through your work; it becomes a gateway for criticism. That’s the price we pay.
See when you’re open, it’s powerful in every single way. It gives you the opportunity to have a huge impact on the world and yet it also leaves you exposed to being hurt by some people the world. How much do you want to impact the world, are you willing to risk that pain? Ultimately, this is how you get strong, this is how you become powerful, this is how you inspire and lead people you’re looking to lead and help.
There’s no way around it, you have to GO & GET THROUGH the criticism to get to your destiny. To get to your goals, to get through your dreams, you have to go through the criticism. You have to be able to silence the noise, you have to take and feel the blows of that negativity. You’re not going to please and inspire everybody. You’re not going to be liked by everybody. You’re going to be hated on, your work is going to inspire many and give hope to plenty; yet you will still have people hate on you, your work, your thought, your look, you’ll be made fun of, you’ll be labeled, but you can’t stop because of that. That doesn’t define you. Get used to that criticism, it’s never going away, there’s nothing that you can do that will prevent that. Nothing.
So, who cares what “they” say? In the end, it’s not about what anyone says, good or bad. The real battle is about you conquering your fears here on Earth, inspiring, giving hope and allowing others to follow your example to do the same thing, to be the best version of themselves. To be the most authentic version of themselves, to love it and express it. It’s about knowing that you matter, knowing how you feel matters, knowing who you are matters, recognizing that how you love matters. That’s what matters. Nothing else matters, you matter! How you feel matters, you matter. No one can label you, no one can define you. You are love. You are already defined.
Everyone on the sideline is a critic. Everyone. In this arena, they don’t matter, only the “man in the arena” matters. Please look up Brene Brown’s TEDTalk about vulnerability and think about Theodore Roosevelt’s “Man in the Arena” quote.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
I love how he says it’s about “who does actually strive to do the deeds”; your place will “never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat”. Who actually strives to do the deeds? Only that person who “spends himself in a worthy cause” knows the “triumph of high achievement”. Pause and think about that for a minute or two.
Spend yourself in a worthy cause. Give your full self, most authentic self to the message you want to tell the world. Spend yourself fully on your dreams, on your desire, on that cause that’s worthy to YOU! Whether you “succeed” at it or “fail”, you win and you are a light and powerful soul for striving to do the deed and your place will never be with “those cold and timid souls”.
At some point in our lives, if we’re honest with ourselves we’ve criticized others and other’s works. When you think about it, ask yourself why? Are you trying to justify it now in your head? Or was it due to your insecurities, fears, lack in a certain area, bias, dislike or judgement of someone or something? Were you a “cold & timid soul” who didn’t know how it felt to be vulnerable, who didn’t know “victory nor defeat”?
You may never be able to stop people from criticizing you or stop people from criticizing in general; but YOU can stop criticizing for good. Even when you dislike, disagree with someone, it doesn’t mean you should criticize them. Just because someone criticizes you, doesn’t mean it’s best to criticize them back. Make a vow to yourself to only speak love, light and growth into the world. At all times. It doesn’t mean you’re not firm in confronting people and their actions. It doesn’t mean you have to say anything to people at all, let your actions speak life into people and the world. Let your inactions tell the world that you don’t tolerate nor promote criticism towards each other.
See the world through different lenses. Learn to view, adjust and appreciate all the different visions there are in the world. It’s not about telling, it’s about becoming, it’s about doing. It’s about doing the deeds. Remember, when you do, you will be criticized. I hope by then you’re used to criticism and can strive to do the deeds anyway.
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