I love this line, “God Only Knows”, it comes from a song by King & Country, this reminds me of the most important relationship you have; it’s with God. No one will truly know all the details or specifics of your personal perspective, all the behind the scenes of your life show, only you & God.
Have you ever thought about all the days you’ve lived? Can you even remember the specific days? We’ve had so many, we remember “special ones”, birthdays, accomplishments, graduations, major lessons, great joys, hard losses and lessons. Some of them stick with us for a while and disappear, some we don’t recall at all. You’ve been through a lot, good & bad. That’s a beautiful story, a beautiful journey.
I’m so grateful I’ve been blessed to have so many laughs, smiles & days filled with love and presence. I’ve also gone through many times of my life that I’ve felt alone, felt isolated, misunderstood, disconnected, unable to communicate with others, I’ve felt unloved, judged, hurt, attacked, through those times I’ve learned how to experience and learn from all the different feelings we experience in life.
Sometimes I share those feelings, sometimes I bottle them but, either way you keep going. Sometimes were easier than others, some feelings I’ve let go, others I’m still battling with and holding on to. What I’ve learned throughout these times is that “God Only Knows”. I’ve learned to rest in that. People don’t always need to understand you; people don’t need to always hear all about and your experiences.
As I’ve grown older, the less I want or like to talk about myself. Moving to a new city, new industry, when I talk to people the thing I find many people love to do most is tell you all about them. What they’ve accomplished, how they’ve struggled and overcome battles, their thoughts, interpretations and opinions on things. (Truth is, I love hearing this from people; like the real internal, deep, heavy emotions good & bad people experience spiritually). To me it’s great hearing about them, but when the time comes to speak about myself, when someone asks about what I do, what I’ve accomplished, I don’t enjoy speaking about it at all to them.
I’m very proud and confident in them, however I hate sharing them with the fear of me speak so much about what excites me that I’d make people feel “less than” or my expressions and words would lead them to the mind frame of comparisons, competing or selling. It’s almost as if when you’re speaking to someone they are wired to sell you on their best attributes (verbally & nonverbally); on why you should love, respect, appreciate and recognize in them. That’s all well, it’s human nature, I just don’t enjoy it as much.
I love listening to it though, because I truly feel I can learn from every single person I speak to. It’s stimulating when people share what they believe you can learn from them, whether they do that intentionally or not. I love hearing and speaking life into conversations about people’s dreams, their passions, their experiences on the journey to their desires, aims and hopes. I love that, I’ll be listening & engaged in that conversation all day with them.
“Bias towards actions”
I believe in having your work, your habits, your attitude & most importantly your spirit speak for you. You don’t need to speak for yourself, let your spirit speak through you. You don’t need to sell of your accomplishments or best attributes by speaking about them all the time; it’s not a job interview. It’s just a friendly conversation, we’re simply exploring each other’s thoughts together. That simple, we’re going through our minds together. Not everything needs to be said and mentioned, somethings you keep between you & God. “God Only Knows”, I won’t like you for your accomplishments, (I may like your accomplishments, but I don’t like you because of your accomplishments). I like you for you. Who you are, with or without your accomplishments.
You’re a spirit living in this physical world. I want to get to know your spirit. I want to get to know that person who experienced all of those different thoughts, visions, physical experiences. The person who was strong, the person who was weak, the person that you were throughout all that you’ve been through. That’s the part of you that “God Only Knows”. You don’t have to tell me about it verbally, I’ll feel it when your spirit speaks through you.
One freeing exercise I’ve done and continue to do is what I like to call my “God Only Knows Talks”. The times you feel you want to vent or talk about your struggles or better yet your accomplishments, pull your phone out and record your thoughts and express them in a voice memo. Go at it. Stand up and give your speech, talk in front of the mirror, for as long as you like, nobody around, nobody but you and God around. Talk to God. Tell him everything, all your deepest fears & thoughts. Tell him everything your ego wants you to share about yourself, let it all out for him. Don’t suppress it, let it out to God. It’s safe with him.
Try it, don’t filter yourself, don’t try to sound a certain way, don’t try to please anyone, just let it all out. You might not be able to speak like that to anyone in your life, only God knows exactly what you mean. What you feel. He doesn’t want you to express it a certain way, he won’t get offended by what you’re saying, he simply wants you to communicate it all and to let you know he knows. God Only Knows. Let it all out.
Tell me how freeing it feels once you do it. I don’t need, nor care to know what you had to say, just tell me how it felt to let it all out and say it. What you said, that’s between you & God. The world may never really know how you see it, how you feel about it, that’s ok. The feeling you feel when you experience and understand that, “God Only Knows”.
God Only knows by King & Country Lyrics:
“Wide awake while the world is sound asleepin' Too afraid of what might show up while you're dreamin' Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you Nobody, nobody, nobody would believe you Every day you try to pick up all the pieces All the memories, they somehow never leave you Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you Nobody, nobody, nobody would believe you
God only knows what you've been through God only knows what they say about you God only knows how it's killing you But there's a kind of love that God only knows God only knows what you've been through God only knows what they say about you God only knows the real you There's a kind of love that God only knows”
* (Hope you look it up & play it after reading this) *
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