One of the best lessons I learned was the ability to see past titles. Titles are great because they give an idea or definition of an object, person or thing which helps us better understand their roles and functions; however, sometimes they lead us to “assume” more than they help us. The title may fog and distort our interpretations. Titles serve a purpose for hierarchies and yet they still can harm our views and the communications of our societies.
This insight came first with my family, mainly my parents. I used to look at them as “my parents”, you know, God sent, all righteous, all-knowing beings, the greatest people on Earth; because they are the ones who had the power to create me. Then I came to find out they are just two humans. Instead of seeing them as the definition of “mom” or “dad” that I thought I “should” see them as, I learned to see them as people. Just like anyone else. People who are trying to figure it out as they go, just like me.
They came to United at the age of 44 and 42 years old, trying to adapt, leave a collapsing economy in Haiti with hopes of creating an opportunity for their children to live better than them. Prior to understanding this, I would be upset, bothered or embarrassed that my parents weren’t accustomed to the “American Way” of life. They didn’t know the style, rhythm or insight of the American flavors like all the parents of my classmates, not even understanding it like the other parents who were immigrants. My parents were different and as I kid who doesn’t understand the bigger picture, this can be embarrassing and even shameful, leading you to not communicate, lie and not interact with people outside of your immediate family’s circle. Not to mention the fact that my mother was loving, yet very fearful, so she kept a short leash on me, not allowing me to explore freely as much as my classmates and friends. Sheltering me from the outside world.
It took time, many seasons and growth throughout my life to understand them and where they were spiritually, where they were during these times, how and why they interpret things the way they did. It took many experiences with them to ultimately understand them and see past their titles to me. I learned to see them. Learned how to see what is underneath all of it, not their circumstances, not their accomplishments, not their fears, I learned to find their spirits. I learned their spirits, who they really were. Throughout all of these experiences, I learned to find that part of them who was experiencing all the different chapters & experiences of their lives. That’s all.
So, when I speak, when I listen or take action, that’s who I’m intending to reach. That’s who I want to see, their spirits. That’s who I am connecting with. That goes for every and anybody. I want to feel that person within, underneath the layers, that’s who you are. That’s who I want to connect with. That’s who you are. You’re not your mind, you’re not your hair, you’re not your past, you’re so much more. You’re the soul within! You’re that spirit experiencing this physical life on earth, learning these lessons of love.
“..I am not my hair, Iam not my skin,
I am the soul who lives within…” – India Arie
Don’t get blinded or attached to any titles. Don’t speak to anyone because of their titles, their titles don’t make them, they make their titles. If you’re seeking to speak to someone solely based on their titles, check your intentions.
I took this lesson and applied it in every avenue of my life. It is a lifelong skill that will not only benefit you, but everyone you encounter. You can recognize people, their spirits, their true essence, while appreciating everything “Earthly” about them. Tapping into that will show you how unique every single person is and how similar we all are.
I tell my fiancé all the time, I believe I can be friends or connect with anyone in the world. It may be harder than others at certain times, or with certain people, but in the end we are all spirits living on this Earth. We can truly only connect spiritually.
Doesn’t matter the title. The intention and attention is what is important. Pay attention to your intention in communicating, then give that person your full attention to communicate soulfully. That’s how and where connections are born. That’s true life.
When you connect intentionally with people like this, your title nor their title matter. It’s so much greater than that. See past the titles and learn to see each other instead.
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