Struggle Well, this is a term I picked up from Ray Dalio. I love it because that’s ultimately how we go about life. That’s one of the major skills in life. You will struggle in your life, in some-way or another.
We all struggle, we simply each struggle differently. Some struggle financially, others emotionally, physically, mentally, some struggle with relationships, while others struggle professionally; but either way we all struggle.
The key or answer isn’t to NOT struggle, or to avoid struggling. It’s to learn HOW TO STRUGGLE. I am not sure what qualifies you as a “certified struggler”; but I’d say I can relate to you if you’re a struggler. I’ve had my fair share of struggles. Struggles in all areas, some worse than others, but still struggles. Financially, emotionally, I’ve struggled with relationships, struggled with honesty, I’ve struggled physically, I’ve struggled with clarity and where I want to go, struggled with my faith, I’ve struggled with my desires and my self-worth. I’ve struggled with family, I’ve struggled in my business, struggled professionally, I’ve struggled to be consistent, I’ve struggled to finish tasks, I’ve struggled to start things. I’VE STRUGGLED and I am still struggling.
We struggle at different degrees and throughout different seasons. I struggle with decisions I make and decisions I haven’t made. I struggle with thoughts, both thoughts that I bring upon myself & those that others bring upon me; whether they are true or just illusions, I struggle with those thoughts & feelings.
Throughout all of this, the biggest lesson I’ve learned through my struggles is that the struggle doesn’t really matter. It’s not even about the struggle and most importantly, don’t wish or focus on having a life or times without struggle; struggles are nothing more than opportunities to grow! You need that struggle, you need that battle to strengthen you; when you go through that struggle you’re conditioning yourself and strengthening yourself in order to be open to other opportunities, other opportunities to struggle in and other opportunities to conquer. You’re getting stronger and stronger.
It’s no different than actually working out. I think back to my football conditioning days. The physical pain I’ve gone through whether it’s going through “torcher” days during summer conditioning, 2 a days, fall camp; or whatever conditioning came from whatever mood my coaches were in in that moment.
You physically feel you have no energy left, you’ve already seen the stars, the heat is killing you, you have stories in your head about people dying because of heat strokes, you’re not sure if your coach is just crazy or if he knows what he’s doing about how far he’s pushing you. Your teammates are dropping, some throwing up, some quitting, others leaning on you. You’re thinking “man this can’t last forever”, yet your coach blows the whistle and another 100-yard sprint is due; if everyone doesn’t make the time, it doesn’t count. Sure enough, you don’t make the time cut and the same thought pattern and physical fatigue is kicking in even more now. That’s a struggle. That’s a battle.
Even in that battle, it’s not about not having that pain or those thoughts. It’s about being in those thoughts, being in those moments, facing them head on and conquering them.
It’s like the Marines say, “Embrace The Suck”. It’s about being present in that state that sucks, being present in that struggle and conquer it in that moment. That’ll never be easy, the only time you’ll overcome it is when you’re in it, not when you’re thinking about when it’ll end or when you don’t feel it. You have to be in it.
You conquer it by feeling it, by feeling all the pain you’re feeling in that moment and focusing on one thing. “Ok, I have to run this 1 sprint right now. It doesn’t matter how many I’ve already ran, doesn’t matter how many more I’ll have to run after this, only thing that matters is, THIS ONE”.
That’s the skill that pain is teaching you. That’s the skill that struggling is teaching you. That’s the major key in learning how to struggle. Doesn’t matter what the arena is.
Physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually; when you’re in that painful moment, that moment you’re struggling, you must learn how to focus. Learn what to focus on.
You must practice being present. You must tap into that level of presence. That level of attention that brings you to ONE THING.
It cuts out all the noise, whether that’s the noise in your own head, about you’re scared that this will happen, or you have this fear of being in pain, of dying, this fear of suffering, this fear of the outcome; it’s cutting out the noise of people telling you how you should feel. Cutting out the noise of people telling you their fears; the fears that they’d have if they were in your shoes in that moment. In that moment of struggling, you have cut all of it out in order to focus & be present.
You focus on whatever tasks is at hand. You’re able to focus on what it is exactly that I have to do in this moment. Whether that means, being still, praying, facing this fear, speaking to someone about a heavy, emotional topic; hearing about or facing something you’ve been in denial about for so long, or letting go of something that you’ve carried for so long.
Whatever that is; the only way you do it, is if you can quiet your mind during that pain & struggle and focus your energy onto whatever it is necessary in this very moment.
When you’re in fear or in pain (struggling), your mind runs faster, your mind panics, your focus & energy is distorted and that causes you to fear & panic even more, leading you to even more struggling.
There’s no avoiding the struggles of life, there’s only equipping ourselves with what it takes to struggle well.There’s only getting stronger and better at struggling, so we can enjoy the struggles, recognize the growth and strengths that come from struggling. That’s the key to winning.
I don’t wish you a life with no struggles, I wish you the strength, stillness, courage, endurance and consistency to face your struggles and to grow through your struggles. I wish you the stillness to fully experience your struggles and to embrace and conquer them. I pray you live a life worthwhile, filled with achievements & fulfillments and may you struggle well throughout the process.
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